The Trash King's throne room

[trashiestking]

"Ughhhh, fiiiiine," the Trash King said, looking at the disruptions in his compound. "You'd think people with so much trash would learn how to share."

Said the guy seated in a beat up old lawn chair on top of a giant pile of refuse.

An announcement went out over the intercom, blasting through the preserve.

"Dear annoying interlopers! Please send representatives to my office RIGHT NOW! I am opening up direct access for only three people. Anyone else tries to come in, they get HOLED."

When they arrived, the representatives would find a long dark hallway, lined with tempting donuts on the floor and lit alcoves containing key items that had fallen down the holes through the week. There was an a fire extinguisher from the fire station. A pin from Fast Eddie's. An empty cup from Chilly Boulder. Other assorted bits and bobs that most people would not think of as worth all that much, treated like fine art.

At the end of the hall was a room, equally as dark as the hall. The Trash King's towering throne was a vague outline in the darkness, the Trash King himself a menacing (or, well, attempted-menacing) figure standing on top.

The smell in here was probably . . . a lot.

Comments

[sith_happened]

"Not yet," Anakin said, which was not the same as no.

Anakin was bad at this.

"Let's give the--" sigh, "talking raccoon time to explain himself first."

[trashiestking]

“Explain what?” the Trash King asked. “That I’m a business genius? If you’ve got the app, you can earn points for a catapult like the rest of these losers.”

The hole in the hallway was almost upon them.

[grenadesandohana]

"By catching useless shit, right?" Steve said, reaching into his cargo pants pocket and retrieving a grenade (thanks, Annie's friend! He had some normally, but these were pretty sweet). "What if I destroy your useless shit? Do I get a bonus catapults because you're in charge?"

[thedadalorian]

Grogu hovered a little further away from the grenade because that guy was not joking around there!

And he'd definitely seen enough explosions to know.

[sith_happened]

"Or we could do that," Anakin said, giving Steve a side-eye as he adjusted, taking a Force grip on Grogu's pod just in case he needed to throw the kid out of a blast radius. Then he cast around for something shiny and pointless--the nearest TV screen would do--and yanked it out of position with the Force before chucking it with a casual handwave into the hole that was approaching.

"We have been extremely patient," he said icily. "Now it's time for you to leave. Well past time."

[trashiestking]

“What is that, an ugly pineapple?” The Trash King asked. (If he knew it exploded, he’d update his description to a “spicy pineapple”.) Then he grimaced and glared at his vanishing shiny thing. “Hey! That’s my trash!”

[grenadesandohana]

"It was ours first," Steve said, popping the pin off of the flash-bang grenade and tossing way back towards the hallway so it bounced along the ground a few times before getting to the hole.

He had no interest in accidentally hurting anyone down in the hole or causing massive structural damage to this giant pile of trash with, well, probably no structure. But he did want to make his position clear. "Give us our people back!"

The grenade exploded in a huge flash of light and noise.

[thedadalorian]

Grogu thrust one clawed hand up in solidarity of that sentiment. But his adorable little shout was covered up by the explosion sound.

Yeah! Burn it all down!

[sith_happened]

When Anakin Skywalker was the responsible adult in a room, you were in trouble.

He pulled two more screens off the wall and hovered them over the hole. "Please," he added sarcastically.

[trashiestking]

The Trash King let out a squawk of “spicy pineapple!!!” at that explosion, and was still too blinded and deafened by the flash-bang to notice Anakin’s sarcastic reasonability.

“You guys suck!” He flailed around with his pickle jar. “Do you know how much work it’d be to bring people back up? I’d have to build a huge catapult!”

Cry them a river, Trash King.

[grenadesandohana]

"You should probably start now," Steve said, pulling out another grenade.

[thedadalorian]

Grogu did his part by concentrating real, real hard on pulling down one of the trophies to chuck across the room telekinetically.

Suck it! He was gonna destroy the system and bring about anarchy before his naptime!!

[sith_happened]

"Excellent control, Grogu," Anakin praised.

[trashiestking]

“You guys suck!” the Trash King said, groping around for his tablet. The hole behind them vanished.

Outside, the rotor noises turned into a trash-rattling explosion. The Trash King groaned. There went his quad outer.

“Attention all raccoons!” he sent over the PA. “Call off the holes! A bunch of whiny nerds want their trash back!”

[grenadesandohana]

"We want our people back," Steve snapped.

[thedadalorian]

Grogu totally shared that sentiment with another trophy getting hurled. But he was getting pretty sleepy from all this.

Curse his tiny, tiny, rage filled body.

[sith_happened]

Anakin crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell them to start on that catapult."

[trashiestking]

"Ugh!" the Trash King said again. "Fine, geez, you guys are so needy."

He picked up the tablet again. "All construction raccoons: begin working on a big-ass catapult to send all the whiny little nerd babies back up to the surface!"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you happy now? Will you leave the rest of my trash alone?"

[grenadesandohana]

"I feel like I could still blow some things up," Steve admitted, "so I'd work faster, if I were you."

[sith_happened]

"And don't forget the buildings," Anakin added with a glare. "We want this place to look like it did before you arrived."

Or at least close. That ice cream shop was probably a disaster.

[trashiestking]

"Uuuuuughhhhhhh," the Trash King groaned. "And the buildings too I GUESS" went out over the intercom. "Now go away! And take your spicy pineapples with you!"

A beat.

". . . Or leave one? They look like fun. . . ."

[grenadesandohana]

"You're absolutely not getting one of these," Steve said firmly. "Tell me where they're building the catapult. I'm going to supervise."

[thedadalorian]

Grogu sleepily lobbed a bit of trash at the Trash King's head for that before flopping back for a nice, long nap.